Unfit for human consumption
I keep forgetting to write this down, and then when I remember, I don’t have time. Anyway, this is one of my favorite pastimes—one that also grosses people the hell out. I like to think of unholy food combinations, like chocolate covered steak, or deep-fried sticks of butter, etc. First, some famous ones:
- “Pork Soda”: a Primus album. (I tried to make some once, with a ramen noodle flavor packet and a bottle of seltzer water. The reaction caused a geyser before I could put the cap on)
- “Oatmeal Pizza”: a Nirvana lyric
- Those crazy Thanksgiving flavors that Jones Soda does every year.
- “Owl-flavored”: an ancient item on a Letterman top 10 list (rejected Jelly Belly flavors)
I like to tell my “special lady” that they were all out of Co-cola, or root beer at the store, so instead I picked her up a barbecue sauce flavored cola.
And once, long ago, I was at a friend’s house, and we were making a pitcher of koolaid. There was a packet of orange and a packet of grape, so we decided to mix the two. The color was brown, and so that was the name we gave the mixture.
The most recent idea I had was a banana split, made of dinner foods:
- one polska kielbasa, cut lengthwise (this is the banana)
- three scoops of mashed potatoes
- various gravies
- a cherry on top
Also, an “asian-style” dessert burrito:
- red bean paste
- sweet “sticky rice”
- ???? (my brain must be blocking out some ingredients)
- wrapped in a spring roll wrapper (or you can use an eggroll wrapper and deep-fry it, for a dessert chimichanga!)