A world wide web of LIES

List of legendary creatures from Japan

The best part is how specific some of these creatures are. My favorites, in list form (of course):

• Kappa—a famous water monster with a water-filled head and a love of cucumbers
• Kurage-no-hinotama—a jellyfish which floats through the air as a fireball
• Makura-gaeshi—the pillow-moving spirit (this one seems to like to torment me nightly!)
• Tankororin—an unharvested persimmon which becomes a monster
• Tōfu-kozō—a spirit child carrying a block of tofu
• Uma-no-ashi—a horse’s leg which dangles from a tree and kicks passersby

I got all hopped up on Red Stripe and tropical drinks and too much sun until taking pictures of toy robots on the beach sounded like a great idea. Also, my li’l brudda got MARRIED!

(I was supposed to “blog this” yesterday, damn)

I saw this today while checking on my peeps:

Was it a lucky guess? There isn’t a place in the profile editor for entering your weight, is there?

BTW—I’m not overweight, I’m festively plump.

Then today is your lucky day, for I have come up with three AWESOME new baby names that would go well together!

• Bladen—meaning “strong”
• Flayden—meaning “sensitive” (or “food” if you’re a rabbit)
• Gladen—meaning “fresh, fragrant”

Oh, they won’t get beat up in school. You don’t mess with Bladen!

I was working on my song ending from a couple days ago, thinking “this is not effed up enough”, and trying to remedy that. I wanted something painful and stressful. After an hour of testing various sounds I had a splitting headache and a bad cause of nausea. I am dialing back “teh pain” on the sounds right now, but if I ever need to bust up a seige or hostage situation, out come the loudspeakers…

COMPUTER (not a summer jam)

This was something I kept forgetting to do.

I made some effed up sounds to put at the end of one of my songs. I had most of it in place already, but it wasn’t quite right, and I solved that today:

OUCH, MAN (New #1 Summer Jam)

The main bit was this weird “birds” preset off my sequencer (done a couple octaves lower than recommended), and the rest was just single organ notes with mega distortion and chorus added (that’s the part I was talking about earlier in this post, with the solving).

So, the other night I was thinking to myself, where the hell do all these stupid made-up-word baby names come from? What I found and am about to show you could either be a coincidence or it could be earth shattering megalolz.

Xzibit A:

If I am reading this correctly, the name enters the public consciousness in 1994.

Xzibit B:

In Star Trek TNG episode “Thine Own Self”, an amnesiac Data is given the name Jayden by primitive villagers he encounters. This episode aired in—dun dun dunnnn—1994, proving once again that Trekkies are the source of all the world’s ills. (Just kidding, or “JK” everyone, I love the Trek myself, smileyface lol)

I am going to name my first born (or next cat) Boss Hogg, because I believe in honest, old fashioned names that have withstood the test of time.

I want the damn out of these, the shit out of these, the ass out of these! Like, damn!

I totally actually seriously want these IRL (in real life). I walk a lot and my Chucks are torn to shreds, and it’s too hot out for ass-kickin’ boots. Separated toes brings about well being, inner, and world peace.

Edit: If you have seen me in pictures or IRL (remember what that stands for), then it is obvious that I do not care about looking like a fool. So scratch that off the “Cons” list.

I had this awesome dream (for once), and was totally bummed-ass-out when I woke up from it. In it, I typed some random text into this Orator-like program (see this blogging), and it would sing the words back as an awesome lo-fi pop song. I tried it again, and this time it had musical backing and everything! It ruled. Then I woke up to a life where computers will not write my pop songs for me.

That night I also had a less awesome dream, wherein I heard a Sleater-Kinney song that was so awesome it made tears come to my eyes. Lots of them. This one’s actually more realistic. Something like that would happen on a regular basis if I were capable of displaying human emotions.

I am all the time having one of several recurring dreams. They get boring.

• I’m in the can, and someone opens the door, or the door won’t stay shut
• My guitar has broken in half while playing it
• Fighting with parents like a damn teenager
• Due to a clerical error I have to go back to highschool and take PE (at my age!)
• It’s the end of a semester in college and I suddenly realize I missed an entire class
• I missed the bus
• MONSTERS@_$*!@_%&!@_

And, rarest of all, and only if I’ve been REALLY good…

• kittens and bunnies doing hilarious things

It doesn’t really take a freudian to pinpoint the source of all these dreams, but the main thing is it’s damn ass hell of boring to only have a few different scenarios to pick from each night. It’s a writer’s strike up in my brain.

*This was from a trailer for the movie “Phantasm II” way back when I was a youngling. Then the scary thing (whatever it was) pops up and goes, “No, it’s not!” Well, my friend Na and I thought it would be even funnier to say, “No, it ain’t!” and then we’d laugh for about 15 minutes.