WWWhat in the World Wide Web » complaining

2010 so far

admin — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 00:59:08 +0000

In place of a bunch of emo-y words, here’s a kitten trying to run up a slide:

Diary of a target market

admin — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 20:12:12 +0000

I ride the bus every day, AND I am looking for affordable health insurance. If only there was some way to keep informed of affordable health insurance solutions, while riding on the bus. A-and it would be even better if I could be informed every three stops, at maximum volume (because I am deaf and forgetful).

Oh, what kind of magical future world am I dreaming of?

WWWExclusive!

admin — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 23:31:54 +0000

Facebook is testing out a new feature on their site—the “show only features that work” view:

(No, really, I see this view 4 out of 5 times I go there.)

Why I hate computor

admin — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 21:30:42 +0000

Dear Photoshop,

Stop showing me this dialog!

From experience and googling, I have noted the following possible actions that bring up this dialog:

opening a picture
closing a picture
saving a picture
looking at Photoshop
not looking at Photoshop
having an old version of OS X
having a new version of OS X
installing a brand new copy on a brand new computer and trying 1–5 for the first time ever
existing

This is like that facebook error you get when you try to do… anything, but that’s a free website, not an overpriced program running on an overpriced computer. Those things I kind of expect to work better.

BONUS COMPLAINS

Dear WordPress (moar like TurdPress amirite),

When I check “Remember me” on my own home personal computer, that is privately used only by me personally at home, it is because I do NOT want to have to log in 39485934875 times a week.

A-AND FINALLY

Dear people-who-should-know-better,

Stop using IE6!

(pic stolen from someone who stole it from someone who was talking about digg and ie6)

OK, LAST ONE, FOR REAL

Dear Firefox,

Why must you take so long after I “quit” you to actually go the hell away?

Because I’m using Windows, right?

NOTE, FROM THE FUTURE: A few of these have fixed themselves. I have Photoshop CS4, which doesn’t do the annoyingly vague “Program Error” thing anymore. A-and I don’t think I get the “Firefox can’t quit me” thing as much, but that may be because I’ve given up on using my home computer and go right to bed after closing the browser. WP still logs me out every other day, and people are still using IE6, so most of this post is still valid.

If I only had a straw

admin — Sat, 11 Jul 2009 22:01:23 +0000

Dear Freezer of mine:

Thanks for keeping my ice cream all nice and warm last night. I really enjoyed that refreshing cup of fail soup.

Love,
Toothless, Gumless Joe

I’m, like, angry at word(pres)s

admin — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 16:53:33 +0000

My permalinks are all effed up, especially the attachment ones. I think it has to do with when I got all fancy with my directories and then everything got confused. Long story short, I had to re-enter a bunch of posts to get attachments to work right on them. Zuh?

I’m also seeing weird shutter-speed displays sometimes, but I don’t care enough about that right now.

THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE EASY, PEOPLE#$P&!@#^

How conveeeenyent

admin — Thu, 23 Oct 2008 15:51:04 +0000

So I thought I’d look into this early voting thing, because that would be cool. Turns out the location for early voting is way the crap across town at the county clerk’s office (coincidentally located at 1776 Washington Ave). On election day I can just go across the street from my danged house to vote, so screw all that other business.

Doc, it hurts when I go like this

admin — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 01:35:59 +0000

Sunday night I dislocated my left elbow. It’s like this (and like that):

The door to my apartment is on the parking lot side
Idiots are always parking too close to the door
making us 2nd floor fools have to squeeze through and then go off the side of the steps.

As I was taking down two bags of trash, I saw that I’d have to maneuver around an idiot parking job again, attempted to do this, and failed. My ankle slipped, I spun around, and fell off the side of the steps, flat on my ass. Luckily the trash bags broke my fall. Luckily, my right shoulder didn’t dislocate (which has happened a million times, sometimes completely unprovoked). UNluckily, my left arm went crazy. I thought I broke it at first, but it didn’t hurt THAT bad. After a nice neighbor gave me some water and unguent, I was able to relax enough to get my arm back in order, thus avoiding an ER trip and its too-high insurance co-pay.

Two days later, and my arm is stiff, swoll up to bejeezus and back, and I got a sexxxy bruise developing (pics to come), but much better than sunday night when I came very close to feeling sorry for myself (sitting on a pile of trash with your arm bent the wrong way can do that). I’m still in a little danger of whining, because now I have yet another bum joint to add to the list:

ankles: often like to twist/sprain while walking
right shoulder: been dislocated between 5-10 times
knees: explode with pain if I get up from a kneeling position
wrists: what do you think they’re like if I’ve been at a computer for half my life?
(and introducing) left elbow!

I will be the first in line when they start offering full body transplants. They better start soon, while I can still get to the line!

Do I snort napalm in my sleep

admin — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 16:44:23 +0000

Man, I haven’t had allergies this bad since my childhood home, which was across the street from a dude who was turning his front yard into a prairie restoration project. On the plus side, I never had to mow the lawn. On the minus side, I STILL couldn’t breathe.

What I have these days combines the wonderful burning of a sinus infection with the meth-freakout desire to tear all the skin off my face to stop the itching.

At least I still have my looks:

WHUT

Beats describing what the Twister sounded like

admin — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 17:28:55 +0000

Here are a few of the ways I’ve described my myriad aches and ailments (most often a type of ache):

it feels like I am growing a new skeleton on top of my old one
it feels like my skeleton is fusing together
stabbed all over: that is the feeling in my head/neck/back/guts
my head feels like a cell that is about to divide
my brain is being crushed by giant hands
I feel like that guy in the Bible what got a tent stake through the head
I feel like a good trepanning may help the situation
it feels like someone is squeezing my spinal column
OWWW, barometric pressure: I am sensitive to it!
that xacto blade just fell through my finger (the eternal model building hazard)