WWWhat in the World Wide Web

I saw someone drink this.

• 1 
• 2 

And then at least five more, just like it. He wasn’t a hipster, and he wasn’t Rocky Balboa, so why a PBR w/egg? Dude was nice enough to let me take a few shots and mess with my camera settings, so at least I learned something.

Reason #12461264: My firm belief that respect is not a god-given right. It is earned (or lost). Just ask my parents! Or my former teachers! Or anyone!

I want to get a tattoo that says NOTHING IS PERMANENT.

On my butt.

(Or my arm, where I can see it.)

For when your Nelson Mandela car air freshener wears out:

Q: What does Gaius Baltar’s essence smell like?
A: #6 and STANKLOVE

So, let’s set the wayback machine to a more innocent time. Barring that, let’s go back to October 19, 2006. I wrote this in my inter-net livejournal online blog page site:

Title: I cold invented a word tonight

I uttered the new word “GROINTMENT” many times in the course of this evening.

A. said, “I think ‘groin’ is the ugliest word in the English language” and Ted said that “ointment” was even worse, so of course I had to top them both.

GROINTMENT. Groin + Ointment = Grointment!

GROINTMENT! “Dapper Dan, for the groin!” (tm Ted)

G R O I N T M E N T !

Order now, operators are standing by…

———

And then, I came up with the best song title ever: “Frodo applies the grointment to Sam”. I am never drinking again.

So tonight I was thinking to myself, and wondering if anyone on earth was insane enough to have also come up with that word. The answer may surprise you, but probably not »

December 21

1. Buy new “long count” calendar
2. THAT’S IT

December 22

1. Wake up
2. Keep on living in a world that has not ended

Yo dawg I herd u like robuts…

…so guess what we did »

I had one of those—what do you call them—ideas last night. Say you’re with your sweetheart and you want to snack, but all the snack-sized packaging is optimized for one person. Enter Relation-chips™, the snack for two! OK, and there’s more: the bag could be heart shaped, with an opening on each side, so you could both reach for delicious snacks at the same time. (And maybe hold greasy hands in the bag? Sure!)

So I did some googling, and all that turned up was some techno CDs and a bunch of lovelorn people who can’t spell. This could be my gravy train…. if only people were totally stupid and utterly susceptible to cheesy gimmicks… IF ONLY!

Note to self: Consider offering gravy flavored Relation-chips™?

Another note, but to everyone: if you’re looking for some “random” food item to consider “funny” in an “ironic” way, then you suck and I hate you. Also, gravy is much a much “funnier” food item (and word) than bacon. Really!

The Flight of the Conchords theme song
    plus
“Only” by Nine Inch Nails
    equals
one of those “mashed up” songs that the kids seem to like

I was working this out in my Mind the whole walk home. Tonight I walked home at 126 beats per minute. The whole process was made infinitely easier thanks to nin.com‘s remix section, which is a cool idea.

Hey, if Will Ferrell said this in his next movie, would you wear it on a t-shirt?

I know H.T.M.L.
(Hyper Text Markup Language)

(whut?)

And then I got to thinking: what would be the absolute worst style of music ever? And it hit me: TWEEMO. Has this already been invented? I live under a rock. A “indie rock”, lol! Or a “classic rock”, double lol!