A world wide web of LIES

I keep forgetting to do this list, but this is one of those weird phenomena that I have noticed. Say there is a band you like. No, not them, that other one. Similar names are the death of me, especially when I love one band and hate the other. I spent years of my life not liking Chavez, because I saw a video by Gomez (which I hated), and the names were permanently mixed up in my mind.

SOOOOO, in no particular order (except alphabetical), and varying levels of similarity…

• The Arcade Fire / The Fiery Furnaces
• Cake / Cake-Like
• Chavez / Gomez
• Deerhoof / Deerhunter
• fIREHOSE / Firehouse
• Jawbox / Jawbreaker
• The Mars Volta / Volta Do Mar
• Mew / Muse
• Modest Mouse / Mouse on Mars
• Múm (from Iceland) / Mum (NOT from Iceland)
• OMD / OMC
• Panda Bear (from Animal Collective) / Grizzly Bear (not from Animal Collective)
• Polara / Polaris
• Stroke 9 / The Strokes
• Super Furry Animals / Animal Collective
• Supergrass / Superdrag
• Television / Telephone
• The Verve / The Verve Pipe
• The Vines / The Shins
• Wolf Eyes / Wolf Parade / Wolfmother
• Yeah Yeah Yeahs / Hot Hot Heat / !!!
• Honorable mention: the seven hundred or so bands during the 80s that had all one word names that started with a C.
• BONUS ROUND: XTC album “Black Sea” / X album “Under the Big Black Sun”

It seems like there were more, but my memory is terrible—which is why I am always mixing these groups up in my head to begin with.

And now, a favorite album for each year I have been alive on the earth planet:

1972: Rolling Stones – Exile on Main Street
1973: Led Zeppelin – Houses of the Holy
1974: King Crimson – Red
1975: Pink Floyd – Wish You Were Here
1976: Joni Mitchell – Hejira
1977: Television – Marquee Moon
1978: The Jam – All Mod Cons
1979: Talking Heads – Fear of Music
1980: The Pretenders – s/t
1981: The Cure – Faith
1982: X – Under the Big Black Sun
1983: U2 – War
1984: The Replacements – Let it Be
1985: R.E.M. – Fables of the Reconstruction
1986: Metallica – Master of Puppets
1987: Guadalcanal Diary – 2×4
1988: The Church – Starfish
1989: Pixies – Doolittle
1990: Uncle Tupelo – No Depression
1991: Slint – Spiderland
1992: Beastie Boys – Check Your Head
1993: Girls Against Boys – Venus Luxure No.1 Baby
1994: Rodan – Rusty
1995: Hum – You’d Prefer an Astronaut
1996: Failure – Fantastic Planet
1997: Yo La Tengo – I Can Hear the Heart Beating as One
1998: Don Caballero – What Burns Never Returns
1999: Trans Am – Futureworld
2000: Sleater-Kinney – All Hands on the Bad One
2001: Les Savy Fav – Go Forth
2002: Ms. John Soda – No P or D
2003: The Sea and Cake – One Bedroom
2004: Laura Veirs – Carbon Glacier
2005: Kylesa – To Walk a Middle Course
2006: Mastodon – Blood Mountain
2007: Baroness – Red Album
2008: Boris – SMILE

NOTES:

1. 1977 and 1984 were banner years for good rock, which made it hard to pick just one.
2. 1991 was no contest, but there were a few trying for “close second”.
3. If I were even older, 1966 would have been another such year.
4. I recycled this post from my el-jay, just because.

When Slint reunited in 2005, I was briefly excited at the possibility of seeing them again. How brief? About the time it took their Chicago show to sell out. During those five seconds it also occurred to me that I had no transportation TO Chicago. Then they did a bunch more shows in 2007, but by that point I was officially too old to rock.

And now, this: http://www.slint.com/ (click there). I have to say, I don’t much like this new musical direction they’re taking.

Wait for it…

Wait for it…

I like their old stuff better.

EDIT FROM THE FUTURE: Damn, they got rid of the cheesy flash intro. Now this entry makes even less sense!

I was working on my song ending from a couple days ago, thinking “this is not effed up enough”, and trying to remedy that. I wanted something painful and stressful. After an hour of testing various sounds I had a splitting headache and a bad case of nausea. I am dialing back “teh pain” on the sounds right now, but if I ever need to bust up a seige or hostage situation, out come the loudspeakers…

I made some effed up sounds to put at the end of one of my songs. I had most of it in place already, but it wasn’t quite right, and I solved that today:

OUCH, MAN (New #1 Summer Jam)

The main bit was this weird “birds” preset off my sequencer (done a couple octaves lower than recommended), and the rest was just single organ notes with mega distortion and chorus added (that’s the part I was talking about earlier in this post, with the solving).

Are they a case of bad editing, artistic license, or something more sinister? Are they done to make you think you got a bad download, and do they then frustrate you so hard that you go and buy the actual CD, and then you still hear the abrupt ending, but at least you paid for it? US version of Smile (by Boris), I’m looking at you!

(In their case I’m more willing to bet it was something like “enough of this garglemesh, NEXT SONG!)

The first song on the new Porter’s Head album is like that too, but on closer listens it’s not all that abrupt. At least the notes are allowed to finish.

The rumors seem to be true—the new Weezer album is going to be untitled, with a picture of the (increasingly fugly) band members against a solid-color background. This time, it’s red. I just don’t think they’re even trying anymore. I read a review of their last one that said it was so bad it’d make you retroactively hate their good stuff (ie, “Blue” and “Pinkerton”). They were right. I heard part of a song on the radio, and ended up retro-hating 2/3 of “Blue”! But this news makes me have a fully charged retro-hate-on. It’s so bad I now hate Rivers’ second grade teacher.

If you need a Red Album to rock out with, may I suggest:

• King Crimson: The title track shreds like a corrupt accountant
• Loudermilk: Glam bam thank you ma’am? Yes!
• Baroness: Nothing rocks harder than this. I’d have bought the CD even if it just had the first two songs. Has the best (red-themed) album art: an Alphonse Mucha in hell type thing.

Speaking of color-themed/self-titled albums, someone should to a tribute to the mother of them all: The Beatles’ “White Album”. But instead of calling it “The White Album”, they should call it “The Beatles”. Oh, the lawsuits it would bring!

Speaking of self-titled albums, I’ve always thought that when a band/artist released a self-titled album late in their career, it was a sign they were in creative trouble. They’re trying to “redefine” themselves or something.

#1 SUMMER JAM (KICK IT)

Hello, I am the last person on earth who still thinks the Apple speech generator is awesome. OutKast used it to start off Stankonia (O-U-T-K-A-S-T, with the “Bells” voice), but that was back in, like, 2000.

See also: Senor Mortgage (the robot uses “Fred” I think), Everybody to the Limit (the robot uses “Zarvox”).